Controlling Anger Prov. 14: 29 CLICK TITLE FOR AUDIO
Dealing with anger takes understanding and control. When a man has his anger under control:
He understands his anger – Prov 14:29, a man that is slow to wrath is of great understanding. He understands that the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God Jas 1:19-20. Look what happened to Moses. Once, he broke the ten commandments Ex 32 and had to fast 40 days more. Once he struck the rock twice in Num 20 and was kept out of the promised land. You are the loser when you lose your temper.
He rules his anger – Prov 25:28 – you and only you are the one who is to rule your spirit. “You made me mad” is not valid or true. You choose to be mad. And the problem with losing your temper is that you may not be able to regain control before you have hurt someone else. Prov 15:18 a wrathful man stirreth up strife. It’s a fire that spreads like a wild fire. He rules it to keep from hurting others with it. Prov 27:4 anger is outrageous [violent, unrestrained].
He slows his anger – Prov 16:32 slow to anger is better than the mighty. Contrast Prov 12:16 a fool’s wrath is presently known. See Ecc 7:9 be not hasty. Prov 14:17 people hate a man with a flash temper. See Prov 22:24-25.
He defers his anger – Prov 19:11 – he has the discretion to recognize that it is often better to let a thing go than to get worked up about it. He passes over a transgression. Among other things, he gauges whether he has the temperament to go through with pressing the transgression. If he doesn’t, he is better off to just leave it alone. You can get so mad that when you finally do “win” you are so bitter you are not satisfied with the outcome and you remain angry. 1 Cor 6:1-7 suffer yourselves to be defrauded. A man who has his anger under control sees it building long before the explosion and stops it.
He puts away his anger – Eph 4:30-32 – he does this by the Spirit of God, by putting his anger away, and by being kind and forgiving. Forgiveness takes the fuel out of the anger. It turns down the heat. Remember, though, when you quit fueling the fire it still takes time for the coals to die down. See that bitterness in Eph 4:31? It is fueling the anger. See that evil speaking? This is fanning the flames. Get rid of both of these.
Conclusion: if you are angry right now you will deny it. Most people do because they see that carrying anger is embarrassing. But if you can get past the denial, you can deal with the root cause of your anger and get it out. You need to empty the powder keg. You need to get to the place where you are balanced and zeroed. That way when something comes up that would spark your temper, you can catch it before the match is struck. Like putting out a wax candle with moist fingers, you’ll just snuff it out.