When you read Gen 2:24, “… they shall be one flesh”, it’s easy to surmise that God is referring to the physical relationship between a husband and wife. Indeed, the husband and wife are “joined” in a physical relationship.
However, there is much more to the application of this verse than their physical union. Look carefully at the verse.
The man leaves his father and mother. This is not the case of having nothing to do with them anymore. It’s the case of creating a new household. His parents have been his authority. Children obey your parents in the Lord. When he leaves them, they are no longer his authority. He becomes the authority.
In 1 Cor 11:3, God describes the proper order of authority in a marriage. The head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is the man. And the head of Christ is God.
This is the proper order. The man is under Christ his head. To have a good marriage, he must lead his family according to the will of God. And the woman is under the man, her head. The wife is to be in submission and subjection to her husband. Man, you better wait to marry until you have the ability to follow Jesus and lead a wife. Woman, you better be sure this is the man you want to be one with and that you want for your head and that you are willing to follow.
To function properly, there can be only one head. Otherwise you have a two-headed monster. He should be making decisions that are in the best interest of, not himself, but both of you as one. If the body isn’t doing well, the head won’t be doing well either.
The man cleaves unto his wife. To cleave is to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly. Let nothing come between you. Not another person, an occupation, a selfish desire, a misunderstanding, a hobby, a deception. No wedge.
The commitment of marriage begins with a vow before the Lord. Till death do us part. No matter the trials, the failures, the heartaches, the difficulties, we stick together. We have joined in an inseparable bond. “What, therefore, God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”, Matt 19:6.
The man and the woman shall be one flesh. According to Matt 19:5 and 1 Cor 6:16, the two become one. You are no longer I and you or me and thee. You are “we”. You become one body.
My left side has never fails to cooperate with and assist my right side in any task. When I walk, both legs are working. When I lift something heavy, both arms, my back, and my legs are in full cooperation to lift it safely.
So, man, it’s not about “we’re gonna do this my way”. It’s not, “My way or the highway” just so you can get what you want without regard for what your wife may want or need. The decisions always need to be “what’s best for us”. The problems are ours and the solutions are ours. If I’m doing something that’s negatively affecting my wife, I have to take responsibility for it and fix it. And she must do the same.
In similar fashion, the church is related to Christ. Eph 5:30-32.
We are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. While each of us who is saved has our own individual relationship with the Lord, the similarity of Christ and the church to marriage is corporate. All of us together in the church are his bride.
Jesus left his Father to come get us. And he paid dearly, with his life, to buy us. He is the head of the church. He is our authority and he communicates his will through his words.
Jesus cleaves to us. He said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. Nothing “shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”, Rom 8:39.
We are one. 1 Cor 12:12, “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ”.
There are several thoughts that stem from these truths.
The idea that you want to keep to yourself, and not be in a local church, is like being separated in your marriage. 1 Cor 12:27, “Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular”. You don’t want to do your part for the benefit of the body.
Some people look to the church to do something for them. What do you have for me? They are like an arm in a sling. All the other members have to take up their slack.
Many churches are one with each other but not one with Christ. He’s not the head. Some board or committee or elders are, or some convention is. And the people are there as a social club.
We are one flesh. Therefore, we should take care of each other and help each other. We should be like Phil 2:2-4. Paul wrote, “Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done trough strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but on the things of others”.
Conclusion: as your union in marriage matures and blossoms into more joy and deeper affection over time, so your union in Christ should mature into more affection and joy. But in both cases you must put “effort” into strengthening the relationship.