In this session Pastor Bevans Welder speaks to the women about men being “won by the conversation of the wives.” (1 Pet 3:1-6) Below are his notes from the lesson:
You don’t read much about pastors’ wives in the Bible. However, Peter, who was married, and who fed a flock (1 Pet 5:2), gives instructions to wives in his first epistle. I believe what he wrote are not only the words of God, but also things he learned from observing his wife.
I want to concentrate on one particular phrase “won by the conversation of the wives”. Conversation is both verbal and behavioral. She has a meek (submissively obedient) and quiet (calm, unruffled) spirit. She’s not stubborn, turbulent, or brawling.
By Matt 8:14 we know that Peter is married. So, his wife had to endure many incidents when he “botched it” in the ministry:
- The time he rebuked the Lord for saying he was going to die in Jerusalem.
- The time he fell in the water.
- The time he disobeyed the Lord and only let down one net.
- The time he swore he wouldn’t be offended at Jesus, and yet denied him three times.
- The time he dissembled in Antioch. And so forth.
I imagine there were times that Peter learned something from the Lord by observing his wife’s chaste conversation. She helped him, and Anne, my wife, has helped me. Mrs. Peter had married a fisherman, and Mrs. Welder had married a banker. They had to adjust to the life of a preacher’s wife.
A man is won by his wife:
Encouraging him to stay in the will of God. Anne encouraged me to stay in Bible college when I thought I made a mistake. In my class 46 men started, and it’s safe to say that 1/3 left because of their wives. She was a great encouragement to me.
Trusting in God. The wife should trust her husband, but more so she should trust God to lead her though the husband. That is how she can survive his ambition and poor decisions.
Keeping bitterness away. Anne endured the loss of our friends in Beeville, but she shook it off and kept going. A pastor’s wife will likely get hurt in the ministry. She must keep the bitterness from engulfing her and maintain her quiet spirit.
Fearing God. If the husband fears God and his wife fears God, she will not leave him.
Staying in subjection to him. This is not following emotion, personal will, contrary advice, or children’s disobedience.